For Love or Money?

Guest post from LaKeisha Mallett of Mallett Coaching

In our world today we make promises and vows often, especially at the beginning of a year.  We make vows to lose weight, stop over eating, be a better parent than our parents, and many of us make the vow to live together in holy matrimony as husband and wife. There is a common saying in most marriage vows, ‘til death do us part’. But in America where money issues are noted as the number one cause of divorce, what we really mean to say is ‘til debts do us part’. And while we don’t actually mean that, our daily actions communicate that point.

Many people get married under the basis of being happy in love forever. While that sounds ideal, the statistics show that is not often the end result. In 2014 the divorce rate in our nation was 50%. That means half of the couples that marry end in divorce. What a staggering statistic!! The same couple that vowed before family and friends (most times in a very elaborate wedding ceremony) to love cherish and honor that marriage union forever, will not see a five year wedding anniversary.

So what happens from the time we walk down the aisle until the day we call it quits? What happens is that people change, circumstances change and many couples in the early stages of marital bliss do not take the time to converse about their financial desires and expectations.

Financial issues and money fights have been the #1 reason for divorce in our country for years.  Teaching couples to learn to love with their hearts and also their wallets is a task that my husband and I have been privileged to have. We love to communicate with couples about the importance of taking me and mine out of the equation and adding we and ours.

As much as we love to help couples make the transition from single living to marital bliss, there are couples who still believe what is yours should remain yours and what is mine will remain mine.

To become effective in your union there will always be a degree of compromise in your relationship.  Different financial upbringings can play a major role in how we view our money with our mate. Maybe you grew up with two parents working together with their money, and your partner grew up in a home with a parent that spent most of the finances and left very little to savings. Those individual financial

views can be beneficial if you make a decision to work together with your spouse and communicate about money matters, yet can be very dangerous if the couple decides to keep their money separate.

Couples should start by sitting down and working together to create shared financial goals. Common

goals that can help a couple’s financial outlook are:

  • Taking time once a week to create and review the family spending plan
  • Limiting the number of times they use a credit card per month
  • Planning for their children’s college education
  • Getting out of debt (GOOD)

Making these adjustments in how they handle the personal finances can bridge the money gap that couples have in their homes.

Can you think of ways you and your spouse can compromise in your relationship and with your money?

Leave a comment below and let us know what you think...

LaKeisha Mallett, 1/2 of the dynamic duo of Mallett Coaching,  knows firsthand the importance of financial literacy, having been on both sides of the money equation.


As a Financial Coach, LaKeisha is known for her coaching philosophy “Saying I DO…It’s about Love and Money too!!” LaKeisha passionately empowers dating, engaged and married couples to live a happier love and financial life.


You can learn more about LaKeisha at:

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